A recent TikTok video opened my eyes to a crucial difference – the distinction between helping and supporting loved ones in need. The therapist presenter explained that while both involve caring, they differ in approach. Helping involves taking action on our own assumptions of what’s best, often without consulting the other person. Supporting, on the other hand, listens and acts based on their specific needs and desires.
This distinction is vital because helping, despite good intentions, can damage relationships. By taking over without consulting loved ones, we risk making them feel unheard, disrespected, and even controlled. If things don’t go as planned, blame can fall on us, creating unnecessary conflict.
The video challenged my long-held belief that “helping” and “supporting” were interchangeable. Now, I understand the importance of prioritizing support over unsolicited “help.”
Further reflection revealed another blind spot. I usually avoid asking for help because I don’t want to be a burden to anyone. However, I now realize that not asking can create its own problems. It can leave loved ones unsure of how to support me, leading them to “help” in ways that might not address my actual needs or to do nothing because they are unsure of how to proceed. Ironically, my own silence can cause me to harbor resentment towards those who, lacking clear guidance from me, may not “help” in the way I expect, or at all.
Asking for help, especially during difficult times, can be immensely challenging. It requires vulnerability and self-awareness, qualities I haven’t always possessed and still struggle with. But, as the saying goes, “When we know better, we do better.” My goal now is to clearly communicate my needs, allowing others to offer genuine support instead of feeling pressured to “help” in ways that might miss the mark.
Perhaps, through this newfound awareness, I can contribute to nurturing healthier, more supportive relationships. Here’s to growth and fostering connections built on understanding and genuine care!
Wishing you endless adventures and self-discoveries,
Gena
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